Positivity.

For all these while i've been meeting with various wonderful people.
They are inspiring, motivating and most importantly, positively moved.


I envy those qualities.
I wish i was naturally born with it.
But to be completely honest, i just don't really have it.


Everytime i listen to stories how people get through their strugglings with positive thinking,
i felt ashamed of myself.
Why? Cos i'm a Christian and weren't i suppose to be in the line with positive influential powers?


I did tried my best to do everything with the best possible perception.
But i couldn't help it sometimes i just get negative all the way. Does that happen to you too?


Perhaps, the greatly decreased amount of spiritual devotion?
Yeah... i thought so.
I felt bad about it.
But what's worse is that i didn't seem to improve them any bit at all.


Dear God,
Forgive me for being such irresponsible.
But i know, You know how much i want to change this.
It's just that i don't know what's the problem, what am i missing and what should i do?
Lord, I know that You'll always have a plan for me to get through this,
but as I'm trying hard to wait with faith, I'm thinking, can it come a bit faster God?
Thank you for everything God.Amen.